Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Could I have a Xanax, Please???

Today was one of those days where you wish you could erase it & start over...come to think of it, maybe even back up & erase the last few days while you're at it. All day I've been thinking about what I wish I had for the day...the list is as follows: a pillow, 10 lbs of chocolate, a box & a half of kleenexes & a stiff drink--ha!
I am physically exhausted & emotionally drained, but yet all I can think of is how much I'd like to break a few plates, or something else equally as breakable -- like somebody's nose!
My heart hurts & my eyes have been periodically leaking throughout the day. Lest anyone fear it's my husbands nose I'd like to break or him causing my heart to hurt & eyes to leak, let me assure you it is not because of him but for him that my heart hurts & eyes leak...if that makes any sense...ok...well it does to me.
Anyway, he has been having a really rough week & has been treated in completely unacceptable ways the past few days. Of course, since he's my husband & I love him ever so much, that makes me see red & then cry...then back to being angry & crying again. I don't like feeling this way, but because I care, I feel...& you know I've always been one to wear my heart on my sleeve! I don't like seeing my loved ones hurt or treated unfairly, thus I become fiercely protective & a bit of a fire-brand against whomever is causing the problem.
The bottom line is that as frustrating as this day has been...my eyes leak now for an entirely different reason. As I talked to my mother-in-law on my way home, she said "well let me tell you what I've been doing on my way home...", I stopped her & said "I know full well what you were doing...you were praying your little heart out!"
Yep...that's exactly what she was doing. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had an absolutely miserable day not because of what was going on, but because I wasn't letting God have control of my heart hurting & eyes leaking until just then. Instead of wishing all day that I had 10 lbs of chocolate & some kleenexes, I should've been praying...so, as I go off to bed, I am now doing what I should've been doing all day...praying & trusting God to take care of the day.

1 comment:

MissTawn said...

Awww Jenn! I'm so sorry you've been having such a rough time! AND...I can't believe you didn't tell me you started a blogspot! lol Anyway, I digress. I'll be praying for you guys...hope things get better. We need to get together and have a chat apparently. ;) Love you bunches!!